I cannot live without the sparkling vintage

cannot bear the body's burden without wine

I am a slave to the last gasp when the wine-server says

'Have another', and I can't

- The Ruba'iyat by Omar Khayyam

ki wair tera mere naal sohneyaaa

meri vaaj hun tu sunda nahin

tu khawaab si mere khwaabaan da,

hun akh khulleyaan vi disda nahin

Aanknen

woh aankhon se yeh kahte hain ki woh kuchh keh nahin sakte
ab aankhen hi kayaamat hon to lafzon ki zaroorat kya?

hayaa ki laali kehti hai aa kar choom lo sagar,
jo dekh ke hi bahak gaye to choom ne ki zaroorat kya

yoon hum se jo sharmaa ke aag seenae mein lagate ho,
khuli yeh chhod do zulfein, adaon ki zaroorat kya

duniya mein peenae waalon ki kami nahin hogi,
jo honth mil jaayen tere to maikhane ki zaroorat kya

Last night I smashed an earthenware pot on the stones,
I was drunk when I committed this folly:
The pot protested,
'I was like you, you will be like me also.'

- The Ruba'iyat by Omar Khayyam

jis raat ki koi subah nahin

jis raat ki koi subah nahin, woh raat churakar kya karna..
jo khwaab na mere ho paaye, unhe dil mein chhupaa ke kya karna...

Fear and Laziness

After a hibernation of about a year and blaming words to have left me somewhere in the middle of the desert, I have finally decided to write again and write it out till the end, if such a thing exists...

I have realized or have borrowed the realization of my life being shaped by 2 very central elements of my existence - fear and laziness. And the more I think, the more I see that this fear comes out of and goes back into freedom, the freedom of choice, of life as I wish, or as I am expected to wish. Strangely enough to many, and still rationally obvious to some, the freedom of choice does not bring/imply by itself the level of freedom. It depends on the number of options, and its not very difficult to realize that with uncountable (yet finite!) options, the freedom of choice translates into a bondage of decisions - selection or rejection, black or white, happy or sad, good or bad and and even bigger trouble of the REASON for the choice.

However dumb and stupid we are, and we know well how much we are, we look out for reasons for out actions and decisions and choices and what not! What could be more disgusting than the fact we tend to look out for reasons even to convince ourselves - conditioning ourselves with theories of both individualism and as well as subscribing to belief systems. And this makes me believe that there is no difference between the so called 'atheists' and the so called 'believers of God'.

Fear - of presence of God in theists and the absence of God in atheists. But atheists are much more courageous - they don't fear something they don't see, they fear themselves, and they confront themselves every single day.
How central it is!

This so called freedom of choice brings me to the reality of choicelessness, the absence of reason of all that is me and all that is not me ...